Robert Christgau: Dean of American Rock Critics

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  • I Wanna Be a Lifeguard [Performance, 1987] C+

Consumer Guide Reviews:

I Wanna Be a Lifeguard [Performance, 1987]
One of indie rock's greatest failures stories, they burst upon us in 1980 with the title tune, a novelty number at least as hilarious as "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron" (which couldn't have cracked commercial radio in the boring commercial '80s either, I bet). Here they compile a best-of from their DIY EPs/LPs for a slightly larger DIY concern--they would have been happy to sign with a major, but not for shit money, no sir. In among the mildly amusing and hopelessly unfunny you'll find the definitive top-40 bar-band parody "(We Are) The Nowtones." The metal parody they don't have the chops for. C+