Robert Christgau: Dean of American Rock Critics

Consumer Guide:
  User's Guide
  Grades 1990-
  Grades 1969-89
  Expert Witness
Books:
  Going Into the City
  Consumer Guide: 90s
  Grown Up All Wrong
  Consumer Guide: 80s
  Consumer Guide: 70s
  Any Old Way You Choose It
  Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough
Writings:
  CG Columns
  Rock&Roll& [new]
  Rock&Roll& [old]
  Music Essays
  Music Reviews
  Book Reviews
  NAJP Blog
  Playboy
  Blender
  Rolling Stone
  Billboard
  Video Reviews
  Pazz & Jop
  Recyclables
  Newsprint
  Lists
  Miscellany
Bibliography
NPR
Web Site:
  Home
  Site Map
  What's New?
Carola Dibbell:
  Carola's Website
  Archive
Venues:
  Noisey
CG Search:
Google Search:
Twitter:

B*Witched

  • B*Witched [Epic, 1999] C-

Consumer Guide Reviews:

B*Witched [Epic, 1999]
In teen pop as in world music, Gaelic signifies untouched by the tarbrush--Van Morrison, Phil Lynott, and The Commitments notwithstanding. And despite the saucy bits in "C'est La Vie" (first a "You show me yours," then an "I'll blow you [away]"!), this bid to whiten the Spice Girls is so clean you'll be hard-pressed to remember it's there--unless, like me, you get sick to your stomach at Uilleann hooks, mid-Atlantic brogues, and Enya lite. The obligatory rhythmic recitation, yclept "Freak Out" and declared "too hot for hip hop," has less bottom than Audrey Hepburn and is over in two minutes. "Like the Rose," unfortunately, takes four. C-