Robert Christgau: Dean of American Rock Critics

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Bon Jovi: New Jersey [Mercury, 1988]
I see three ways to take the transparently pseudo Springsteenian sincerity of Jon's bid to improve his artistic reputation and his platinum multiple at the same time. You could lie back and enjoy its giant hooks, identifying with the masses all the while. You could cheer its de facto deconstruction of rock "authenticity." Or you could blow lunch. As someone who learned to love "Livin' on a Prayer" in heavy rotation at a swimming pool, I reserve the right to choose option one upon suitable stimulus from somebody else's radio. Now pass the bucket. C+